Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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