You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
