He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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