All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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