So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
