Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
