sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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