I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
two words: eviction party
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
