I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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