someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
