About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
