i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I love you.
Bad choice
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