Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
