I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
