I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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