but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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