I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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