i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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