Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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