I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How does one acquire holy water?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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