Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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