Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
