had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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