So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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