You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
