I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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