All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
