My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
