She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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