I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
