i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
