Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
