I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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