i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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