Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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