We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
