Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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