That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
