guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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