That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
