Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
