I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Damn victory sex feels great
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
