yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
