All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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