U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Say something about gay babies.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
