Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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