i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
