So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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