I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
