so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
