his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
