and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
