if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
